With a Name Like Wood
by broadwaybaby529
Summary: “Let’s put it this way,” Lee said, smirking and slowly backing away. “ Beware of red things that come in pairs and start with Ws” Oliver learns a thing or two from our favorite twins... But why him?Rated for language,tiny bit of smut, SLASH and twincest.


With a Name Like Wood….

Disclaimer: Ron's hair is red, Harry's eyes are green, don't sue, they're not mine, I'm only 15.

A/N- the title and inspiration for this fic are completely and blatantly stolen from a piece of flair on facebook.

" I'd watch out if I were you" Oliver Wood almost jumped at the sight of Lee Jordan emerging from a tapestry outside his Charms class. " What. The. Fuck. Lee." He panted. " You nearly gave me a freaking heart attack." Lee Jordan shrugged a little. Though Oliver was a year older they were fairly good friends. " Just warning you" He said to Oliver, who was now done looking shocked and instead was thoroughly confused.

" Lookout for what Lee? Am I in danger? Should I go to the Headmaster?" Lee Jordan shook his head vigorously, shaking the numerous amounts of curls in his Afro around.

" Not for your life silly." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "Then what?" Oliver asked. He was truly thoroughly confused, and late to History of Magic. "Let's put it this way," He said, smirking and slowly backing away. " Beware of red things that come in pairs and start with Ws" And he retreated once again behind the tapestry, where Oliver left him to his own devices and was stuck with many questions. He was obviously talking about the twins, Fred and George. Red, came in a pair, and their last name started with W. But what could he possibly mean about them?

It's after Quiddich is over, and the pitch is entirely dark. It's after Oliver is so covered in dirt he can hardly see the blaring canary gold of his robes and his broom has camouflaged into the ground, that he finally flies defiantly toward the, hopefully, empty locker room.

Unfortunately Merlin was off helping other wizards in need because as his luck would have it, the second he had taken off his robes and wrapped a towel around his waist, the infamous Weaslys appeared. " Come for a shower Olli" Fred asked (or was it George?) " You've been avoiding us dear cap't" George added (Maybe it was Fred) in a rather sickly sweet, obviously fake, innocent voice.

Truth was, Wood had been avoiding the Twins. He knew what damage they could cause and he much preferred to have no part in it. " What's the matter Olli?" Fred asked. (You know he _still_ couldn't tell the difference). They had now pinned him up against the cold tile and he could feel the clothe of the towel whispering its way off his hips. " Yea," George added. " Why have you been avoiding us?" Oliver stuttered, and tried to walk away from the Twins, but they were much taller and there were two of them.

" Lee Jordan said" He started, but couldn't seem to find the words to follow. " What did Lee say?" One of them asked him. But he didn't answer. " Looks like our darling Lee is going to have to be punished a bit." The other one added.

Oliver suddenly understood the innuendo. Oh holy Christ. This wasn't about pranks; this was about sex. Shit shit shit. " Oh look George" Fred said, "Our little Olli figured out why he's here" He then bent down and licked Oliver's ear, whispering " You know where to find us" And then the two of them disappeared.

They continued doing it for the remainder of the week. Any time Oliver was alone the Twins would sneak up behind him and whisper inappropriate things, each time leaving him more sexually confused, and more sexually frustrated then ever before.

It lasted until winter break, when Oliver finally stormed down to the 6th year Gryffendor boy's dorm room for a chat with our favorite twins. " What have you two done to me?" He asked. They looked up innocently. " Whatever do you mean dear Capt.?" George asked. This time he could tell by the knitted G on his sweater, thank you Mrs. Weasly.

" This thing." He nearly screamed. " This seduction thing" He was wavering on the point of hysteria. " Why me? Why not Harry? Or Seamus, they're both attractive and more importantly they're actually GAY." He damn near screeched this part. " Well for one" George started. " Harry is like a brother to us, and Malfoy would hex us into oblivion. And for Seamus" He added, " Too Irish" They said in unison. It always freaked him out when they did that. " But why ME?!" He screamed. " We'll tell you after" Fred whispered, a Cheshire cat smile on his face. " After" Oliver repeated. " After what, oh no." But they had pushed him onto the bed. " Relax," One of them said. " You'll enjoy it, we promise"

Someone's lips made contact with his neck, and someone's hands started to undo his trousers and toss them aside. All he could register was a mass of red hair. " We'll stop if you really want us to" Fred started. " But give us a chance to work our magic, it's not very often you get to sleep with doubles." George added.

George's hand's walked slowly around his boxer clad legs. He shouldn't be getting hard from this, but he was. His own body was betraying him. Oh this was not a good situation. Somehow lost his shirt and tie, all that he wore now was a thin wife beater and his boxers. This was not what he had in mind when he had come down here.

_Or maybe it was._ The voice in his head whispered to him, as a finger ran down his happy trail.

_Maybe you really did want to have sex with twins. I mean, you really haven't gotten any in a rather long time. _ Sad but true, Katie Bell had broken up with him over a year ago.

_Maybe this is a long time kink of yours. You have a thing for red hair?_

But he couldn't concentrate on what his inner voice was saying much longer. The twins were doing things to him no girl had ever done and he felt better then he ever had before. Somebody blew on his dick and he moaned from the back of his throat. Then they took it full in their mouth, oh godgodgod.

The other twin came up to his chest, sucking on his nipples. He had never been a vocal person in bed, but the twins made him crazy. " Oliver, I want you to fuck me," Fred moaned. Oliver nodded. How could he not? He wanted it as much as they did. And so they fucked. Oliver and Fred, Oliver and George, Fred and George, (which was REALLY hot to watch) (a/n, I was gonna put some good smut here, but I just wasn't in the right mood)

What felt like hours later the three of them lay tangled in sheets, sweaty, exhausted and sticky, but thoroughly and completely satisfied. From where he rested on George's lap, Fred said " Seriously Oli you are the best lay we have ever gotten. And you're huge by the way." George nodded, " He's right mate, if you ever want to do this again." Oliver smiled. " Of course I want to do it again. But you guys have to tell me why you chose me." The twins smiled evilly. " Well" George started, " We figured, " Fred added, and in unison they finished " With a name like Wood it has to be good"

"And it was mate." Fred threw in. " It was very good"

A/N- so this is pretty much all about sex but the actual act of it… Hmm, well reviews are nice but I won't beg… And thank facebook for the inspiration…


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